Faith Matters

Fathers Do Matter; A Reason to Be Thankful
July 17th 2011 by Staff Writer
Fathers Do Matter; A Reason to Be Thankful

By "A Friend" from a CaringPages Blog"



It’s not an easy job, but like the Marines say, "it’s the toughest job you will ever love."

This is an incredible story about dads & their importance to the family. This was a CaringPages blog that was written by a friend in June 2010 as his own son is/was battling the
"BIG C"
....

Well worth reading.



Not surprisingly, today I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the importance of Fathers. Sociological studies reveal this alarming fact: much of the crime and many of the behavioral disorders in the United States come from homes where the father has abandoned the children. In many societies the world over, child poverty, crime, drug abuse, and family decay can be traced to conditions where the father gives no male nurturing. Sociologically, it is now painfully apparent that fathers are not optional family baggage.

images/Blog Images/show/ujbgThese facts have been brought into sharp relief in the context of helping my son and the rest of our children learn to cope with the new realities in our lives. My wife and I have very different strengths and weaknesses. Life wouldn’t be much fun if I married someone identical to myself (although I might get my way more often). Likewise, the way we help our children learn and grow is also very different. It’s kinda funny in hindsight. Although our differences are well known and apparent to even the casual observer, they were never a big deal because we have the same backgrounds and goals. Yet, when our family was thrown into this situation these differences cause us to solve the problems is very unique ways. My Wife's approach and my approach to each issue is usually very different. This, of course, can lead to conflict, much like the way the Archduke Ferdinand's Assassination led to a little conflict in Europe. (This is for our friends who ask that we write a “real” blog and think that perfect people are boring. I am not boring.)

It is useless to debate which parent is most important. No one would doubt that a mother’s influence is paramount with newborns and in the first years of a child’s life. The father’s influence increases as the child grows older. However, each parent is necessary at various times in a child’s development. Both fathers and mothers do many intrinsically different things for their children. Both mothers and fathers are equipped to nurture children, but their approaches are different. Mothers seem to take a dominant role in preparing children to live within their families (present and future). Fathers seem best equipped to prepare children to function in the environment outside the family.

images/Blog Images/show/ujbfMy Wife tends to coddle and shield more, I tend to protect by helping the kids become more independent. Both are valid and important, at the right time. Deciding when the proper time is can be difficult; this is why God wisely gave every child both a mother and a father. You need both to balance these important decision. And as a parent, you need to know when to listen to your spouse and when to be quiet. This is easy to do when the biggest decision is who gets the remote (that would be me) or who get to take out the mouse caught in the trap (again, that would be me). However, when neither parent has slept much and the question is who gets up in the middle of the night for the 10th time in a row, it gets harder. If you don’t have a firm foundation in your relationship to fall back on, you’re up the proverbial creek without a paddle.

That is why I am so grateful for our heritages. I’ve been able to spend time studying my family lines. Today I came to the happy realization that I come from an unbroken line of great fathers. Both my direct line and my wives is an unbroken train of good men who married good women. I’ve got uncles and great uncles who made some pretty poor choices, but my fathers and My Wive's fathers were all good men. They showed through quiet example the way a man should live, and that is pretty darn cool.

A father is not the goofball shown on television. He is not the scourge of society that popular media likes to promote. Fatherhood is the righteous power and influence by which boys are taught in their youth and throughout their lives to honor chastity, to be honest and industrious, and to develop respect for, and stand in the defense of, womanhood. Being a father is a restraining influence.

images/Blog Images/show/ujbeSince ours is such a public trial, many people have sought out my wife and I to share their own experiences. It seems that whenever I am having a bad day, someone comes along with a story of their hard times that makes me grateful for my own, lesser troubles. It seems that just about everyone is going through a hard time right now. Health, jobs, family, environmental problems both real and imagined all cause a lot of stress.Ever consider how many fewer issues we would all have if men just learn to be men? If boys really were taught in their youth and throughout their lives to honor chastity, to be honest and industrious, and to develop respect for, and stand in the defense of, womanhood. If all men were like this, and if women encouraged it and expected it, image what kind of a world we would have.

So the take home message today? Learn to be a man before you become a father, learn to embrace the God given differences in your marriage before problems arise so that when they do come you can fall back on those core values of honor and respect.


Last Updated on July 17th 2011 by Staff Writer




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